...was someone else's YES!
This is what I have been telling myself for the past two months as we have had our profile presented to 6 expectant moms, 1 that decided to parent and 5 that chose another family. I wrote about our first "no" on February 3rd and I'm just getting around to posting about it. So I'm going to have two posts today-the one I wrote on Feb. 3rd and a new update for everyone!
February 3, 2016
I would be upset with myself if I did not write out anything about today's news. Our first no came today after presenting yesterday to an expectant mom that chose another family to parent her baby girl. So-the question I'm getting most from those that knew: How are you feeling/Are you doing ok?
Brett and I have prayed for peace through this process and have had many family/friends praying for us as well. So, to starting answering that question, I have to start with the fact that God is faithful and I feel ok about this first no. I have struggled in the last week about how to pray expectantly while also praying for our hearts to remain steadfast in the no's. Is praying the latter taking away our faith in God to move? I do not believe so-Proverbs 4:23 says
Now, although I do feel at peace, I do not want to discount the emotion that comes with resting in His peace. I want to be vulnerable/honest each step of this process. I've thought a lot about whether telling our small group/close friends/family every time we present is a good thing. I keep thinking, are they going to get tired of hearing us, and are they going to get discouraged along the way? But isn't that what life is about-Sharing with each other so we can see how the Lord works in all things!
It is my prayer that you see God's love/heart for you through our story. When we walked through fertility treatments and the miscarriage, the Lord was so faithful in that He gave me new eyes to see a small glimpse of the love of a parent as it should reflect His love for us-to see God's love and feeling of loss in the sacrifice of His son for me and you in such a new and overwhelming way.
Today, I feel like God has given me new eyes to see a tiny glimpse of the rejection Jesus experienced on the cross-all for us-and I am so thankful for God's sovereignty and grace to let these glimpses encourage me instead of drown me with doubt. So, although parts of today felt like a big drop in this roller coaster, the cross has been magnified even bigger and God's love even greater!
I am so thankful for our consultant, Leah, and the way she makes herself readily available to be used by the Lord. Tonight, she said "sometimes your purpose is to stand in the gap for these women in prayer!" How beautiful that we get the unique opportunity to pray for so many women by name!
Also, as I think about this being our no, I'm reminded that it is someone else's yes, so I cannot help but be full of joy for them! WHen you know how rejection and waiting feels, it makes anyone's acceptance and yes so sweet!
Wherever you are today, I pray you know God's love for you-through loss, death, rejection-He did it all so that you know and accept His love for you! I want it to also be clear that we can say all these things because although we mess a lot of things up (I've messed up way too much with impatience in my classroom just this week) God in His grace, makes everything right. May the cross, the resurrection, and His love be magnified to your eyes and in your heart! THANK YOU for praying along side of us for baby W.!
This is what I have been telling myself for the past two months as we have had our profile presented to 6 expectant moms, 1 that decided to parent and 5 that chose another family. I wrote about our first "no" on February 3rd and I'm just getting around to posting about it. So I'm going to have two posts today-the one I wrote on Feb. 3rd and a new update for everyone!
February 3, 2016
I would be upset with myself if I did not write out anything about today's news. Our first no came today after presenting yesterday to an expectant mom that chose another family to parent her baby girl. So-the question I'm getting most from those that knew: How are you feeling/Are you doing ok?
Brett and I have prayed for peace through this process and have had many family/friends praying for us as well. So, to starting answering that question, I have to start with the fact that God is faithful and I feel ok about this first no. I have struggled in the last week about how to pray expectantly while also praying for our hearts to remain steadfast in the no's. Is praying the latter taking away our faith in God to move? I do not believe so-Proverbs 4:23 says
We are waiting expectantly for our baby and praying that God would be glorified in/through it all-even when I jumble my words. "He knows the plans He has for us" and we try to trust in that! We have seen His glory in the no's of our past and it not only strengthened our faith (what's faith/joy if everything is given/easy?) but we know that it will make the Yes that much sweeter."Above all else, guard your heart"
Now, although I do feel at peace, I do not want to discount the emotion that comes with resting in His peace. I want to be vulnerable/honest each step of this process. I've thought a lot about whether telling our small group/close friends/family every time we present is a good thing. I keep thinking, are they going to get tired of hearing us, and are they going to get discouraged along the way? But isn't that what life is about-Sharing with each other so we can see how the Lord works in all things!
It is my prayer that you see God's love/heart for you through our story. When we walked through fertility treatments and the miscarriage, the Lord was so faithful in that He gave me new eyes to see a small glimpse of the love of a parent as it should reflect His love for us-to see God's love and feeling of loss in the sacrifice of His son for me and you in such a new and overwhelming way.
Today, I feel like God has given me new eyes to see a tiny glimpse of the rejection Jesus experienced on the cross-all for us-and I am so thankful for God's sovereignty and grace to let these glimpses encourage me instead of drown me with doubt. So, although parts of today felt like a big drop in this roller coaster, the cross has been magnified even bigger and God's love even greater!
I am so thankful for our consultant, Leah, and the way she makes herself readily available to be used by the Lord. Tonight, she said "sometimes your purpose is to stand in the gap for these women in prayer!" How beautiful that we get the unique opportunity to pray for so many women by name!
Also, as I think about this being our no, I'm reminded that it is someone else's yes, so I cannot help but be full of joy for them! WHen you know how rejection and waiting feels, it makes anyone's acceptance and yes so sweet!
Wherever you are today, I pray you know God's love for you-through loss, death, rejection-He did it all so that you know and accept His love for you! I want it to also be clear that we can say all these things because although we mess a lot of things up (I've messed up way too much with impatience in my classroom just this week) God in His grace, makes everything right. May the cross, the resurrection, and His love be magnified to your eyes and in your heart! THANK YOU for praying along side of us for baby W.!
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