Walking with the Watsons

Today was supposed to be the day I was due to give birth to our first born...Instead, here I sit not just with empty hands, but an empty womb. I also don't think my body got the memo that it is not preparing to give birth anymore with the amount of weight I've gained but that's for a different post. I wanted to make this post positive and share not about what we don't have, but what the Lord so graciously (and patiently) reminds me that I do have. Yet, today, that is so very hard to do. I want to question, to be bitter, to grieve our loss, but most of all just remember our babies. So here is their little story... The last year has been a huge joy to truly know fulfillment in Christ, but it has not come without a huge struggle.  I began the IVF process with birth control pills (as prescribed) in August.  In September, I had to undergo a hysteroscopy, a procedure to widen the cervix. For me, this confirmed our decision to seek out medical help, as we would never have kn

A verse I had no idea would grow to mean so much to me! I wrote this post over a week ago now, just late posting! July 21, 2015 One month-It has been exactly one month since I've seen and talked to my Granny.  I have thought about what I have wanted to write in this post a million times, and a million times more have wanted to sit down and write it, but never could bring myself to do so. Well, I got my hair cut yesterday and all I could hear is my Granny saying, "Your Papa would be maaadd at you" and "Nooo you didn't cut it off". And again this morning, as I made my coffee, I am laughing at the last time I fixed coffee for my Granny. It was the week of June 15th and I was staying with her. I made coffee for myself and convinced her to try it.  It was way  too strong (Thank you Keurig for taking away my ability to make coffee in a regular pot). Granny responded with "oooo that's bitter" but then came the "it'll be alright...just a

On the beginning of Easter weekend, and in remembrance of Good Friday today, how do I put into words The Father's Love and Grace that pours out to me (and to you) in that 3 letter word-a word that over the last few months brought with it such hardship: -Your beta results show that you are pregnant, so congratulations BUT... we need to re-draw tomorrow. -Your number is rising BUT...not at the rate we want it to. -Your blood work still shows a positive test BUT...we are afraid that the pregnancy is not viable. -Your body still thinks you are pregnant BUT...nothing is showing on the ultrasound -I was pregnant BUT never got to hold my sweet baby(ies) in my arms this side of heaven, but a gift I will always be thankful for! Today marks 3 months since I had to be administered a methotrexate shot to complete my miscarriage, and boy was it a hard day to swallow. I cannot wait to share the glory in how God reigned even through that trial, BUT that post will have to wait. Today, I

All Scripture is God-Breathed... "Behold children are a heritage from the Lord...Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are children of one's youth." Ps. 127:3-4 I received this necklace in the mail a few weeks ago from a sweet friend...A perfect gesture at the perfect time to mark not only the journey the Lord was bringing us through, but to also remember our sweet babies. I have wanted to start this blog for quite some time, but couldn't find the words to perfectly convey all the Lord has placed on my heart over the last few months. But here I am...a day off of school for the snow and snuggled on my couch with a cup of coffee, ready to tell you our story on what would be the mark of 17 weeks today with these little ones.  There have been so many nights in the last few months that I have tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep despite pure exhaustion-due in part to physical and mental exhaustion from teaching high school math, but mostly due to pure e